Sean Ongley

Category: News

  • Taking on HELD.

    Taking on HELD.

    Held Gear was packed into a box and shipped to Philadelphia one month ago yesterday. Already I have worked an event and sold dozens of units. People are digging it.

    Yesterday, I published this abstract documentary, meant to capture the energy and process of transferring the business into my possession.

    Keeping narrative minimal, I used fragments and long shots to reveal detail and carry the story. Every moment is laden with humor, synchronicity, or irony. It is choppy, it is lo-fi. It is honestly myself.

    My whole story with Held is much longer. My first belt came into my possession as a raffle item that I grifted from No.Fest 2009.

    I wore that belt until 2018. That is when I had my Mother buy me one as a Christmas gift, to replace it.

    Now I own all the belts. Talk about bang for buck.

    On August 4, 2012, our mutual friend Todd asked me to help him help Micah moving out of his shop. We used the No.Fest van to move him out. I took a few photos, rediscovering them very recently.

    Over the years, he kept the brand alive online, and when he was healthy, continued selling them at events. It was always reliable income for him.

    Health and personal matters compounded and led to his humble conclusion that it was meant for someone else to continue.

    The whole story is contained in the two-hour livestream with Twin in which we discuss his life, Held, the arts, and spirituality.

    At the opening of this talk, he drops Jesus immediately. I am comfortable with that, I have found Jesus to be a guide, teacher, and savior. I accept Christ and believe in the sacred heart.

    There is no conflict between myself and Twin, however, there was someone present that has more intense feelings. We all worked it out and it was fine. But the issue presented a question to me, it was a reminder of something sacred in my relationship with people.

    Twin took me out to the flood plain in the valley that his property connects through. He walked back home and I hung out. When I was on a smidgen of mushrooms and walking the pathless desert, hiking a small mountain, the perfection of the universe palpable, heart open, this feeling that we tie men to the divine and thus tie ourselves up to men, continued to resonate.

    This is not controversial to anyone other than fundamentalists that view Jesus as equal to Christ and equal to God by proxy and there is literally no way around eternal damnation but to accept Jesus.

    I decided to separate the desert walk from the doc. I had video and images of his property and more, but it’s a distraction.

    Part of the mission with Held is to support Twin’s community work not only running a totally free and voluntary radio signal for Why, but also with indigenous communities and nature connectivity inherent to his property. This should be a documentary in itself.

    Who Twin is, I believe will remain someone that understands the path that people need to take can get weird.

    Twin handed me a copy of X-Ray Visions from the thrift shop. It inspired me to just cut videos regardless of how roughly they are produced, and get on with my heart’s desire to produce film.

    X-Ray Visions shows an era of Portland when the artists were anarchist-hippy-weirdos that tolerated anyone and everyone except for douche bags. The venue known as X-Ray Cafe was a prism for the weird in Portland in the late 1990’s.

    Now Portland has colonized weirdos and industries have weaponized them. The movement that was Portland’s whole energy from the time that Twin came up there truly is the basis for the HELD brand of punk/urban styles with social/environmental ethos. It is essentially 90’s Portland. No wonder the brand is still received as cool.

    When I watched that, it reminded me of the importance of letting people encounter their path in life naturally. A strange, winding path has been mine, and it led me to take on Held.

    My argument was that if someone is devoted to a spiritual life, even if that person’s realm is pathless (like mine), they will encounter Jesus.

    Lo and behold, I had wandered off the trail and in my searching I encountered a saguaro adorned with Mother Mary and Baby Jesus.

    Saguaro in the Why valley adorned with Mary and Jesus.

    Micah and myself intersected in Portland briefly, and I had to keep in touch with him in Arizona. That’s when he became Twin. He had property in the wild and it was an excuse to get away from my family in Tucson when I was on family visits, especially as a layover toward Los Angeles.

    The heart tells you when there is a reason to keep up with people. Most direction you receive through the heart is not meant to be understood. And this is where I believe Christ communicates. This is why living by the heart is an act of faith.

    The spiritual and social foundation for Held is total unity. It is here for the weird. It is here for the worker. Held is for everyone.

    Twin in the 1990’s and myself in the 2000’s, we both were influenced by Portland’s anarchist economy.

    The first home I lived in was one block from a worker-owned record store, four blocks from a worker-owned grocery co-op, six blocks from a worker-owned coffee shop who bought their baked goods from a worker-owned bakery down the street. Artist-owned businesses were also common.

    Then things changed in Portland. Maybe we participated in that by accident. We both fled, for our own reasons.

    Whatever HELD is to become, it is with that same open loving attitude that we came up with in Portland.

    My views do not interfere with the choices of any consenting adults. Your path is yours to undertake, and I believe your karma unfolds over countless iterations. Yet this life at this moment itself is divine and worthy of daily praise and thanks to _____.

    Producing belts and fashion accessories is a grind like anything in life. This grind is fun, interesting, and feels good. The better I am at it, the better it is for people. That is it.

    HELD Gear and THRU Media are my two brands. I am reviving them together because this little documentary is nothing, I am about to produce a tremendous flow of media only to promote Held Gear. It is either contract that I give to someone, or I revive my own media brand.

    That too is just the beginning. My heart is asking that I document the Love I see in Philadelphia. I believe the same energy Portland had twenty years ago is here. It’s a very different context, but I know it when I see it.

    I am older, but I’m still ready to rock. It’s a different context for me too, but I’m on the dance floor, metaphorically and literally.

    Held is already plugging me directly into that world, as the DJ Instagram accounts I follow led me to my first event by Rock the House and FRNDS called Day Jawn.

    Held was a hit. This week, I’m doing another DJ event, curated by BLCKTEETH. They asked me based on what they saw at Day Jawn.

    It’s happening. It is exactly where it needs to be, and so am I.

    at Day Jawn, introducing Held Gear to Philadelphia
    Micah Twin Recovering in 2012
    August 4 2012
    August 4 2012
    August 4 2012
    August 4 2012
    Sky selfie
    It’s about the 5
    One of the last Radio Shacks, Ajo AZ
    Having installed the radio gear
    Sunrise to work
    Smoking not drinking
    Veganism
    “Held Belt” wagon (not really)
    The inherited product inventory
    Little mountain in the valley
    Saguaro by design
    Mary and Baby Jesus
    Enjoying the heat
    El Tambó Festival 2022
    El Tambó Festival 2022
    First solo belts
    My first solo builds
    The box held, barely.
    I really stuffed it!
    Strapping ready to be produced
    My first shop setup
    My first batch of Aurochs
    In chronological order from 2012 to 2022, my trail to Held Gear.

  • The Baton Has Passed with Twin Balance

    The Baton Has Passed with Twin Balance

    We are standing at the foot of the bridge preparing to cross, pontificating on the possibilities of the other side. Mesmerized it may appear, but this is just theater. Promotion is an illusion.

    What is happening is the universe exerting its will through its honorable vessels, that is us. Twin gets into right away, discovering we both have arrived at the place of letting go and letting God, as it were.

    Twin is ready to let go of his business, Held Gear, and rather than take an offer from an investor, he decided to hand it off to a friend, which turns out to be me. I am humbled that he would observe consistency in my behavior and bestow the honor of trusting his integrity with mine, in essence.

    All he wants to do is vibe on his land, make it an expression of sustainability, transmitting good vibes through the only FM signal in Why, Arizona, at 106.9. It is not a commercial operation, it is anarchy.

    I am a former radio engineer. I could build a radio station on his property from scratch, given the time and budget, all with my hands and standard power tools. This is only one way that my life path intersects in a way that I can benefit him by leveraging Held Gear.

    We discuss the brand, its ethics, its concept and his life story in the first hour. In the second hour of this talk, it is more like another casual livestream. We get into old Portland and anarchistic cooperative artist lifestyles we lived. It’s a good talk.

    And the internet held.

    Exciting as this project is, it is always a grind, but it can be joyous. Much more will be written and published here, but the real place to follow Held Gear is heldgear.com.

  • Hanging Out with Sam Tripoli

    Hanging Out with Sam Tripoli

    Life has been a truly winding road. There is some sense of validation that the struggles and the ego busting that I’ve been going through over the last year has a purpose. I found myself out of nowhere joining comedian and podcast factory Sam Tripoli for a chat. I had emailed him before, and tweeted with him, but I’m also just one bee in the swarm of many thousand of fans.

    I have been listening to his most successful show Tin Foil Hat Podcast, since 2016. It was easy to talk with him because I know exactly how his patterns and style work. He doesn’t know me but I already relate to him as I would a friend that I’ve spent many hours with. Kind of weird.

    Official Tin Foil Hat Podcast Logo

    Sam’s appearance at Helium Comedy Club was scheduled just before the second lock down in Philadelphia, in between two trips to Michigan visiting my grandfather, who died with Covid while I was there. Knowing I was going back for a funeral, I was dead set on having fun at that comedy show. I did quite a bit of drinking that night.

    The outside meet and greet was cool. I was drunkenly excited and in an emotional place, kind of manic, and I started talking about Scientology. He invited me to his Patreon show on the spot.

    Just over a week later, already back again from the funeral, we were on a video chat. Both of us were prone to meandering, and even though it is was fun, I couldn’t seem to guide the conversation in the direction that I wanted it to go with Scientology.

    I also wanted to reveal my theory as to what happened to my grandfather from PCR testing to hospital treatment conditions. That is kind of a big can of worms that I am reluctant to open up and I’m glad we didn’t.

    We didn’t really get to the Scientology stuff, so he invited me on to Zero, the spirituality show on Rokfin.

    We scheduled the show and I paced my day around the nighttime hour that we planned, but then he changed it all of the sudden when I was just sitting down for dinner. I almost postponed, because I had to eat and then get all of my stuff set up: microphone, stand, laptop, etc. But I got it together and rushed into the meeting.

    We start by talking about Scientology and then we end up going a few directions including the article that was fresh on my mind “The Tool of Predictive Purification,” in which I argue that the rock band Tool is an agent of the alliance to awaken consciousness against the force that seeks to control it.

    The show was good, he repeated off the air that I “crushed it,” thanked me for making it work, but ended up using it for his Patreon again. That was disappointing but I trust it is for the best.

    I never got to see the video for these because I didn’t have a Patreon account and they don’t keep videos over the long term. I support my podcasts in a different way, like going to the comedy shows in a pandemic and using promo codes for CBD. I joined only to grab a screenshot for my post. I was at least able to download the audio.

    If you want to hear the archived audio, you can join Patreon and subscribe to the Tin Foil Hat Podcast and search my name. Or you can listen to them right here (don’t tell Sam). Just click for the first one, and for the second one.

    I never took screenshots or pictures in person, so that is what I got. We might do it again, but nothing has been planned.

    Here are some past posts of mine about Scientology, there is plenty of reading in these three stories.

    Read “Combating Cults with Spiritual Skepticism”

    Read “Going Clear for Real”

    Read “ABC News Scientology Hoax Obscures Belgium Decision”

  • How My Fridge Became a Pop Star

    How My Fridge Became a Pop Star

    Shy Boyz music video for “Julie’s Fridge” uses my 1948 Philco.

    Ever since moving to Philadelphia, I have been fixated on collecting Philco electronics for the house. This was a company that carried a good chunk of Pennsylvania’s economy in the post-war era. In case you didn’t see it, the brand is shorthand for Philadelphia company. The company’s roots go back to the late nineteenth century, but they rose to be a major corporation in the 1930’s with radios, and expanded their line of home appliances for decades.

    The antique refrigerator market is a thorny one, but there is always one for sale. I found this one in New Jersey for $135. I offered $120 and happily drove it home. Then I used a city recycling program to get $75 for the fridge that I was replacing.

    The heavy bastard had to come up my over-pitched concrete steps and across the house to the kitchen. I never wanted to move it again. Little did I know that it would only be a year before this thing would be put out again, and immortalized in a music video.

    I loved the aesthetic of the Philco. I had to run it on a timer, because without a thermostat, the system can’t cycle on its own. Finally, I bought the thermostat and a replacement gasket. But nothing worked out quite as hoped. Thermostat didn’t exactly fit. Got the wrong type of gasket. It was going to cost another $100 to get the right one. I used $5 weatherstripping in the short term. It works but it’s not food grade, so it could hold bacteria. Not recommending this hack at all.

    Then the summer came around. The fridge couldn’t compete with ambient temperatures. My tenant used a hell of a lot of ice. Nobody in 1948, when this unit was built, demanded so much ice. Ice was a luxury. It was actually how a large portion of the population were still keeping their ice boxes cold. It wasn’t something that just came out of a lever on your fridge. We ice everything today. It’s bad for ya, by the way. Search it.

    I believe now that I created the tiniest of freon leaks, at some point. This is old school coolant that can’t be recharged. If it never leaks, in theory, it lasts forever. The tiniest leak could be undetectable, but the fridge will stop reaching low temperatures, then it will overrun as the thermostat never triggers.

    I realized that this fridge wasn’t going to be acceptable to a house squarely paid for by my tenants, even if I resolved it’s problems. I’m making my living on this rental income. I may have aesthetic preferences, but at some point it’s not about me, even if it is my house.

    I bought a second mini fridge, but it wasn’t really the solution. Believe it or not, 1940’s through 1950’s refrigerators are 100% more efficient than any new fridge. It simply uses less amperage. Adding a second fridge eliminates the energy savings.

    I put it up for sale for $115. I knew it had a lot of valuable parts. A pro could fix it up on the cheap. It was up for a couple of weeks with no bites, and I was afraid it would take months to sell. Then I was saved by the budget of a local filmmaker who said he needed a fridge for a shoot. He liked this one. And it was actually the best deal, when I did my own searching.

    Two guys came over with a proper hand truck and we got the thing out safely. No freon explosions. They managed to squeeze it into a Subaru and take it off to shoot right away. I asked them to share their work when it was done. Much sooner than I expected, I got a text message with the screenshot that is the featured image here.

    Turned out to be for this humorous, glam pop band called The Shy Boyz, for a song about Mom’s wild portal of a fridge that isn’t just gross, it actually animates the food inside it, called “Julie’s Fridge.”

    I grew an attachment to this fridge in a short time, so it is gratifying to see it preserved by Philly artists in their work. Like everything, its destiny is in the dust, but for now it is forever.

    For those curious about the history of Philco, the company never died. It partnered with Ford and rose to manufacture aerospace equipment by the 1970’s. The corporation was absorbed by Philips, divesting from Philadelphia, leaving thousands of workers permanently in poverty, as blue collar jobs were replaced with foreign manufacturing, and white collar positions were eliminated, as Philips’ headquarters are in Netherlands.

    The Philco brand to me symbolizes the permanent removal of Philadelphia from its 20th Century throne as the “workshop of the world,” a term coined specifically for it, to the 21st Century when the mantle was given to Shenzhen, China.

    • Intact Product Manual for 1948 Philco C-883
    • Philco C-883 Fully Closed
    • Original Philco warranty signed August 1948 by Miss Mary Maksymuck
    • Philco C-883 Wide Open with Dry Good Drawer
  • Don’t Call it a Comeback

    Don’t Call it a Comeback

    Ever have the realization that you are a wash-up that never made it to the shores of financial or artistic success? I have. I’m the kind of fellow that was almost famous. I was cutting edge on the internet from 1997 to 2007. I was Google famous. I was a public broadcasting star. Not even NPR, more like leftist radio famous. This is literally true.

    I cannot accept how often people use this word: Literally.

    Broadly speaking, we are all obsessed with fame. It was always a little pathetic when someone with talent — a musician or actor — looked upon themselves through the lens of stardom while working in regional theatre or small nightclubs or hipster basement parties, but now everybody has this self-view, especially the talentless. If twerking is a talent, if selfies are a talent, I don’t want to live in a world where those things get you famous.

    There is so much nonsense on the internet that we now have to preface literal statements with the word “literally” because we cannot distinguish reality from fantasy. Notice how we never say “figuratively” before exaggerations or idiomatic speech. In fact, we often preface such literary tools with the word literally.

    I am neither figuratively nor literally a wash-up. I am just another random person on a planet of 8 billion human souls.

    Nonetheless, I will play the game. For the last year I’ve been flirting with total abandonment of the project of fame or being an artist. But I cannot. That is, I can abandon fame, but not creativity.

    Throughout the year, there has been a strange uptick of comments reflecting my age, as I am now 37 years old. Almost everyone says I don’t look it.

    When I was 23, I wanted to look and come off as someone around age 30. When I was 33, I realized that I was at the ideal age. Now I am 37 and hanging onto dear life to age 30, as folks say, “you look more like 29.” Wonderful! I’ll take it! I need more time anyway.

    I’m still working out my program, but I am reconfiguring my relationship with social media. Firstly, I think 80% of folks should post at least 50% less than they do, so I am going to follow my own opinion on this. I haven’t been posting at all, so I want to learn how to do this in a way that promotes my objectives, not merely my existence.

    What are my objectives? I am finally coming close to completing my home music and multimedia studio (not to mention my entire home restoration project). I would say that before the New Year, I will be producing music again. What kind of projects come naturally, it is hard to say. All I feel is that my dexterity is as good as ever, but my maturity is greater than ever, so my music is going to be better than ever.

    I think about stand-up comedy, but I cannot do it. Here is what I will do. I have been writing jokes and bits. At least I note them down as they cross my mind. I will bring them to this blog and to social media. If I ever feel that I have 10 potential minutes and a solid 5 minutes, then I’ll take it to open mic. Until then, fuck it. I know how hard it is. I already paid three years of dues in Portland comedy. I want to bypass that bullshit and bring solid material to the mic. Otherwise, I am just happy to write humor and crack jokes with friends.

    I also have ideas for documentaries, books, action camera content, and more. I am always a fucking wheelhouse of ideas. For another blog post, I could put five ideas out there that other people have realized. It is frustrating because I know I would be a millionaire by now had I focused on some of them. Given that, I still get ideas, so I should really pursue them in a smart way.

    Lets close this out: I am going to revive my creative pursuits and find wholesome ways of self-promotion. I could give a shit if I get famous again because I am learning finance. Oh! Thats another thing. I have learned finance, so I am going to provide some finance tips on my blog. And DIY repair tips. I just want to share what I’m learning.

    You see, if you are not just another consumer roaming around for pleasure and instead you are a truth seeker, a builder, a thinker, and you don’t easily play by the rules of the status quo, then you have an obligation, I believe. This is the heart of being an artist. Whatever you’re about, if you challenge the status quo and you have a vision for a better world, you are responsible to that talent, that vision, that special thing you have.

    While I see the folly of snowflake mentality, and I fight that within myself, I also realize that people have always told me that I am not just another cog in the machine. I want to honor that without the trapping of egotism.

    Don’t call it a comeback. I am just calling on myself to come forward, maybe for the first time.